I don’t do failure. I’m nothing if not tenacious, and I’ll persevere until I achieve my goal. Almost without exception, I’ve avoided failure in the major spheres of my life, completing the aims I’ve set out with. It may be in large part down to the fact that I’m unwilling to take on challenges at which I don’t think I can succeed. I suppose I’m afraid of failure.
And this, being pregnant and bringing a child in to the world, is something at which I simply cannot fail. I can’t afford to when it’s a new life at stake. And I can’t afford to give birth to a big fat baby and be judged as failing in taking care of myself. Even if I know that’s not the truth, I need people to know that I didn’t fail. I need to have a healthy baby so that I can feel proud.
But also, for the first time in my life, it’s about so much more than that. This is a person at stake. A real human being with so much potential and a whole lifetime to live. I can’t do it wrong. I simply cannot fail.