Like a lot of mums (I’m guessing) I don’t want to trek up stairs with the wriggly toddler for every nappy change. Apart from anything else, the act of going up to his rooms gives him advance warning that a nappy change is coming, and so the opportunity to plan his defence. Thomas does not like to have his nappy changed. (Beats me why. I wouldn’t want to run around with poo in my pants, but hey ho.)
So often I try to catch him unawares, where he stands. Here, cloth nappies pose a couple of challenges. I pretty much have to get him lying down, because I’ve yet to come across a cloth version of the pull-up nappy (other than “training pants”, and we’re a very long way off needing those). Once he’s lying down I have precisely 4.5 seconds to complete the entire nappy change before he’s off again. Surprisingly, I manage this fairly often!
The second issue, however, is that if the nappy contains poo (which seems to be pretty much every nappy this week) then I have to trek upstairs anyway, since the poo needs to go down the loo (where poo belongs) and living in a Victorian semi, we have no downstairs loo. (Hmmm… A few too many poos floating around in that sentence.) Normally I wrap the poo in the nappy, race upstairs to deposit it and try to race back down again before Thomas has destroyed too much of the house.
When I raced back down after this sequence today, Thomas was highly engrossed in playing with his train, so I decided to take the opportunity (after washing hands, of course) for a sneaky chocolate biscuit. One of those new McVities double chocolate things, to be precise. (Oh come on…what mother hasn’t snuck a chocolate biscuit in to her mouth whilst her child is not looking? I don’t want to share my chocolate biscuits. *Stamps foot toddler-style*). My verdict is: very nice biscuit, excellent size for cramming in to the mouth whole, and hence hiding from toddler.
Soon, I was back on the floor with my son, playing the great train disaster game. (For which read, crashing lots of trains together. He seems to love it.) I glanced up and spied a stray chocolate biscuit crumb on the carpet. This post is full of lots of honesty, so no point denying that the “five second rule” in our house is more like the “five minute rule”. And they were particularly nice chocolate biscuits.
It was only as I picked it up and got it half way to my mouth thatI realised it was not a chocolate biscuit crumb. But instead… Poo. A stray little nugget that must have dropped out of the nappy as I whisked it upstairs.
Obviously I did not eat it.
This kind of thing happens to other people too, right? This is the first time that this has happened to me, to my knowledge. But if you visit my house, you may not wish to practice the five second rule. And watch where you step!