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Nov 30 / Caro

Me and Mine – November 2014

It’s been a funny sort of a month. It’s been incredibly busy and in some ways seems to have passed in a flash. But at the same time there has been a slowness about it, and an edge of deep sadness too.

This was the month that, back in March, I was optimistic would see another face joining our Me and Mine shots. I thought, if only for the briefest of times, that I’d have another child to call mine, and we’d become a family of four. Instead, this month has been spent coming to terms with the fact that it will never happen and beginning the slow journey to acceptance of that fact. We have to move on, and that has to start somewhere.

When I look at pictures of the three of us, though, it helps me to remember that the reality really isn’t so bad. Sure, it may not match the dream. But that was only ever just that: a dream. A fantasy.

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This picture of me and my two boys was taken on Thomas’s birthday. It was the only one out of a considerable number that is in any way usable. The rest feature at least one of us (usually Thomas) in a blur of movement, or one adult with a small child’s finger inserted into a mouth, ear or nostril. Or they are just plain out of focus. Or have us all creased in two with laughter, only the tops of our heads caught by the camera.

Because despite the tears there has been a lot of laughter too.

This is my family. It may be small, but it’s incredibly perfect. And I love them to the moon… and back.

dear beautiful
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6 Comments

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  1. Capture by Lucy / Nov 30 2014

    I read this and hold back tears. My cousin lost her eldest son this Summer and now they are a family of 4 and every night they said I love you to the moon and back, I love you to infinity. I don’t understand how the universe decides that some people have 8 babies in a blink of an eye and some long for a second, or third or just a special one. Love this photo of you three. A very special three xxxx

  2. Capture by Lucy / Nov 30 2014

    Oh crumbs I mant a family of 3. She has a younger son Jesse and the pain of being a three is almost unbearable. For all of us xxx

    • Caro / Nov 30 2014

      I followed Skye’s story, and was heartbroken for you all. I cannot imagine that kind of loss. I long for something I’ve never had, but to have something so precious taken away is just unimaginable. I don’t understand why the world works in the ways that it does either. I think perhaps it’s a secret no one knows. xx

  3. Aaah sweetheart, you are luckier than you could possibly know. To have a child of your own is an absolute blessing. Your gorgeous family may not be quite as you pictured it — as mine isn’t either — but we are lucky beyond belief.

    To accept our ‘lot’ can sometimes be very hard. When things don’t pan out as we envisaged, it can be a bitter pill to swallow and we can spend so much time thinking about a future we won’t have, that we forget to spend time being grateful for the present we do.

    I made peace a long time ago with my reality. Sometimes my dreams still take a hold and I think about what could have been… then I look at my little family and thank my lucky stars.

    This is a beautiful pic of the three of you!! I would have loved to have seen the outtakes too 😉

    Caro xxxx

  4. Carie / Dec 1 2014

    It’s a gorgeous photo 🙂 You’ve been through so much this year, and yet your photos speak only of joy and the complete and utter adoration of that wonderful little boy of yours. I think that is a huge achievement. Life might not look quite how you planned but no one can ever say that you didn’t reach out and grab the happiness!

  5. Not A Frumpy Mum / Dec 2 2014

    Such a beautiful photo of the 3 of you Caroline. xx

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